The cost of hypergamy

The cost of hypergamy

A woman belatedly regrets her erroneous idea that she could do better:


Laughing and dancing with my fiance at our engagement party, I thought I might actually burst with happiness. Surrounded by our family and friends, I looked at Matthew and felt certain I had met the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with.  Quite simply, he was my soulmate.  It all seemed so simple to my naïve, 19-year-old self. I was, I smugly told myself, the girl who had it all.

So why, 20 years later, do I find myself  single, childless and tormented by the fact that I have thrown away the only true chance of happiness I ever had?

Eight years after that wonderful engagement party in 1989, I walked away from dear, devoted, loyal Matthew, convinced that somewhere out there, a better, more exciting, more fulfilling life awaited me.  Only there wasn’t.

The important thing here is to notice why she walked out on her dear, devoted, loyal soulmate.  It’s less that she thought she could do better, that is obvious, but rather why she thought she deserved better.

«I still loved him, but I began to feel embarrassed by his blue-collar jobs, annoyed that, despite his intelligence, he didn’t have a career. Then he bought a lurid blue and pink VW  Beetle.  Why couldn’t he drive a normal car? Things that now seem incredibly insignificant began to niggle.  I began to wish he was more sophisticated and earned more. I felt envious of friends with better-off partners, who were able to support them as they started their families.»

Hypergamy and entitlement.  Those are the female relationship killers.  Those are the characteristics of which men should always be especially wary.

We should be as honest to women about hypergamy as we are to men about promiscuity.

When a young hottie in skimpy clothes makes a move on me, I get turned on. But I understand that is my nature and it does not mean my wife is inadequate. Since I know it is normal to sexually desire beautiful women I am able to better handle it.

Not so with women. We teach that women are naturally monogamous. So when a woman’s hypergamous tendencies appear, rather that understand it is their social/sexual norm, they instead assume that they are in the.wrong relationship, their incorrect view of their nature.

When nature kicks in, men attribute it to their sexuality whereas women blame their husbands.

I think my 90 year old grandmother understood men and women better than most feminists today.