There is No Longer Someone for Everyone

There is No Longer Someone for Everyone : The Fallout of the Sexual Revolution

The Attractiveness Hierarchy

In the monogamous marriage system of the past, the majority of men and women found mates and got married.

In that system, singles knew roughly where they were ranked in overall attractiveness and married a mate of roughly equal rank as soon as they could, usually by their early 20’s.

In today’s society, birth control [means that women] can have sex without marriage, engaging in temporary physical relationships…while they wait and hope for Mr. Right.

Men have a greater evolved desire for unfettered sex, and generally prefer more sex partners rather than a commitment to marriage and raising children.

Because women are willing to have premarital sex, the attractive men who have ready access to many new sex partners have little incentive to pursue marriage at all. They generally prefer to circulate among women rather than settle down.

Circulating around the Pool

The promiscuous system allows very attractive men to avoid commitment and be continually available for sex.

Because these men can have more sex, women have sexual access to more attractive men than they would have been able to attract as marriage partners under the monogamous system.

For most men, [this] means that the [most] desirable men…can monopolize many of the women.

By having many relationships, many sex partners and even multiple wives in serially monogamous fashion, the most attractive men can consume the prime reproductive years of multiple women…

When some men consume more than their share of women, there will necessarily be other men, lower on the attractiveness hierarchy, who will have no suitable women available for marriage at all. This also means that all of the men who are not at the top of the hierarchy must lower their standards.

Women who are accustomed to having sex with highly attractive men don’t want to “settle” and marry the kind of less sexy man that would be willing to marry. Men don’t want to to be settled for, either.

This means that both men and women remain circulating in the dating pool for long periods without settling into marriage…As promiscuity increases, marriage declines and fewer singles can find lifelong partners.

Anonymous Essay (Reddit)